Let’s Be Ordinary Together

In The Beginning…

Welcome Brothers and Sisters. Thank you for stopping by my website. I pray you find value in this site and perhaps find a couple tidbits to hang on to. I would like to start by welcoming you and sharing with you my own story.  

I was not raised in the Catholic Church. I grew up in the Texas desert as an ELCA Lutheran. I have 2 brothers and my wonderful parents. As the youngest and only girl, I always fancied myself not spoiled but appropriately adored. Haha! I already knew my future as well. I would graduate High School, meet a Lutheran boy, get married at 23 and start popping out those babies. I always knew I wanted a large family. Being Lutheran was more important to me than everything else. I considered myself Lutheran before I even considered myself a Christian. My identity prioritized as such: 1. Family Name 2. A loyal ELCA Lutheran 3. Of German Ancestry 4. Christian. Very much in that order! I was taught that we were to be grateful to Martin Luther for saving us from the “Big Bad Catholic Church” and all the evils that came with.

Do You Have to be Irish Mob to be Catholic?

I believed Catholics were a borderline-cult of once Christians who fell away from the teachings of Jesus and now use their “faith” as an excuse to do immoral and illegal activities [Do whatever you want and just make sure to go to confession afterward]. They were by no means faithful or obedient Christians. I thought to be Catholic you had to be Hispanic or part of the Irish Mob and that there were no Catholics in the state of Texas, much less in my simple town. All the while, I lived less than a mile from a tiny Catholic church that I drove by every single week, at least once. I was taught Catholics worship Mary as equal to God Himself, worship their priest as a sort of demigod, purchase their way into Heaven and practice creepy 3-hour services every Sunday, called Mass. Oh, and we mustn’t forget Catholics believe they are the ONLY ones who will obtain Heaven. So, not only did I have a lengthy list of misconceptions handed down to me but I also lived in such a bubble of Lutheranism that I was completely unaware of the overwhelming Catholic presence in my own town. We had a Cathedral, more than 3 major Catholic parishes and many small outlying parishes. How could I be so oblivious to them? I knew about the local Methodists, Presbyterians, Church of Christ, and Baptists, but not Catholics. Once I began mentioning to those around me my lack of knowing any Catholics, I was shocked to find that many of those I knew were either Catholic or no longer practicing Catholics. When I asked them questions like, “Why do Catholics pray the rosary?” Or “What’s the deal with Mary?” No one had any real answer for me, only “Because we are Catholic and that’s what we are told to do.”

Falling Away From What I Knew…

By the time I graduated High School (Boy! I never thought I would see life after HS.) The Lutheran church is going through a paradigm shift, my personal parish had been severely wounded by the actions of some of its members and I felt completely lost and out of place. Our Bishops and the ELCA as a whole were making changes to doctrinal teaching. This deeply disturbed my spirit and I didn’t fully understand why. All I did know what that doctrine was God’s teachings to us, so how could we as human beings change it! I found myself angry every week at church now because I felt what was being preached from the pulpit was in error. I raised my concerns about this, to several trusted family and friends, and the best answer I was given was: “Well, you know, every church has a bit of the truth and every church has some that’s wrong. You just have to listen to what they say and then decide what sounds right and what doesn’t.” I was very confused by this. I asked “Well, if I feel the pastor is wrong and he has had years of schooling in theology, while I am only a teenager, with no theological schooling, how am I supposed to be smarter than him!?” 

Searching For God…

I asked my friend Molly if she would go church hoping with me. I had not been to church now in about a year and I felt a gaping void. She was not raised in the church. She thought she believed in God but didn’t know anything about Him. Thankfully, she agreed and off we hopped. I explained to her that, in light of changes being made to church teachings, I no longer felt the Lutheran church was where God wanted me to be. We were lousy little rabbits as we burrowed into the first church we hopped. It was a lovely, warm, and welcoming little Methodist church. We made a home there. Molly married her husband there. Her second and third children were born while we were there. She and her second and third children were all baptized there. We loved the parish and our fellow church friends. We helped with Bible study, cleaned the church each week, and it seemed perfect…almost. Still, I felt an emptiness that I couldn’t explain. It just wasn’t quite HOME. At one point, I went to my pastor to explain that I missed the Lutheran church (warts and all) and would begin attending a VERY small congregation outside of town. It seemed disconnected from all of the drama in the diocese. I did not get the response I had hoped for from her. Even with my assurances to the contrary our Pastor had taken my decision as a personal rejection and we parted with much hurt on her end. Just a few weeks before our conversation, Molly had gone to our pastor and asked her for guidance. Having not grown up in the Christian faith, or any faith for that matter, she didn’t know about faith throughout the world. She wanted to study other religions because how can you truly believe what you believe if you don’t know anything else. The pastor was excited about this and told us, of course! ‘I can give you some book suggestions and you are free to study and learn about any religion you want EXCEPT Catholicism! Catholicism is not Christian and, if you spend too much time studying it, you will become Catholic.” Well, THAT seemed a bit odd. “So, it’s fine to study Hinduism and Bhuddism?” “Yes. But stay away from the Catholic Church!” 

On to the new church: Again, this parish was lovely and warm, but still, something didn’t seem to fit. After a while, I followed my family in moving away to the Dallas area.  

I had not been in Dallas for more than a month when Molly called me to tell me that she needed to speak with me. I knew it was serious and everything in me raised to high alert. She hesitantly began to tell me how she and her husband Bob had been praying for some time now and been going to classes and had made the decision to become Catholic. She also explained how she had already lost a couple friends because of their decision. Then she tells me “And, I have been talking to God about you too. I want you to know that I totally understand if you never become Catholic and it really IS fine with me, but I feel like God has told me that one day you will be Catholic too.” After a solid 30 seconds of hysterical laughter I responded, “Oh Honey! I will NEVER be Catholic, but you go right ahead. 

Hospitality…

A few short months later…. “Bob and Molly” have been welcomed into The Church, baby number 4 is the first Cradle Catholic in the family and the eldest needs major surgery. They are driving hours to come visit to have the surgery in Dallas. Molly asked me to look into the local Catholic churches to find one that she and “Bob” might be able to attend while there. Put on dutiful, loyal, loving friend hat and here I go… I visited 3 local parishes and, do you know, not ONE SINGLE PERSON walked up to me before or after Mass to visit with me, introduce themself or try to get my entire life story with the hopes of gaining my membership. Every Protestant church I had ever been to before was an hour of being stared at with great curiosity, followed by a stampede after service to meet the strangers. They were always friendly, warm and welcoming but I always despised being the center of attention. Going to service and being all but ignored, I had never felt so comfortable at church in all my life. I didn’t feel like an oddity or stranger but rather part of the family. Everyone smiled and said ‘good morning’ as they passed you outside as though they all knew you already. This was an absolute miracle for an introvert such as myself! (Don’t laugh too hard, those of you who know me. I have trained my whole life, learning how to cover up and compensate for my discomfort in crowds.) Oh sure, I wasn’t able to keep up with the flow of Mass but I listened to everything, analyzing, nit-picking, and painstakingly looking for flaw in the teachings. I was going to find proof, for Molly, that Catholics aren’t Christians! Then I could save her from this terrible choice. Well, that was a bit of a disappointment…not to worry; I was certain to find heathenry at the next parish… I reported by to my friend and said: I really liked this church for you and no one even suspected I am not one of them.

A New Home, A New Hunt…

A couple years passed, another baby came along, and my feisty, pistol of a granny had been sick for a few months, and we didn’t know what was going on. I had recently finished schooling to be a Certified Surgical Technologist and not one single hospital would even grant me an interview. I would realize later that this was all God’s doing as well. While cleaning out and organizing the pantry, Mama got a call. “Your Mama isn’t well, and you should come.” Mama and I packed up our bags, left the entire pantry sitting in the middle of the kitchen and left within an hour. We stayed a month with Granny and Granddad. I had never seen her so thin and weak, but it was such a blessing to be able to give back to the woman who had been there and given so much to us over the years. So, after a month Granny had mentioned that she overheard the hospital was hiring in the surgical dept. I didn’t say too much about it but said “Oh, well what if I apply?” And “What if they hire me?” Granny said “Well, what if they do? I guess you will just have to stay with us a little longer.” After about a week of praying about it and completely surrendering to God’s will in the matter (for the first time in my life), I got an application, filled it out in HR, interviewed the next day, and was hired within a week. Now if that isn’t divine intervention, I don’t know what is. I told Granny they offered me the job and assured her I would start looking for an apt. She quickly told me, in no uncertain terms, that I would just be staying right there with them. I agreed with the stipulation that I would stay, as long as she needed me or until she couldn’t stand me anymore. I honestly didn’t think it would take too long. Ha!

Now I needed to find a local church home. I had a couple places in mind but, in anticipation of “Molly” coming to see me, I thought I would hop around and scope out the local Catholic churches again. Besides that, I had never seen “Molly” so happy. When you love someone, you care what they care about. So, I had decided anything that makes my best friend this happy I need to educate myself in the matter. This would allow me to better understand my friend and the woman she was becoming. It would also give me the chance to learn if this truly is a cult and how to break her free from it. My second or third Sunday at the first one I visited, the one making announcements said “Are you interested in becoming Catholic? Have you ever wanted to learn about the Catholic faith? We will begin offering RCIA classes and we would love for you to join us. Please contact Kathy Lou Mills for inquiries. You will find her number in the church bulletin. Wow! That seemed a bit coincidental. MAN! I am really bad at this church hopping business. I never made a second hop. Haha. 

I Will Expose the Heathenry…or Will I Be Education

So, I called Kathy Lou and we set a day to meet. I walked into Kathy Lou’s office and sat down. She gave me a book about the church and asked me how she could help me. I said “I heard you have a class that teaches about the church. My best friend recently converted, and I want to learn more about this faith that makes her so happy. But, I want to make it clear that I AM NOT converting! I only want to learn about what you believe.” She was so kind. “That fine. We call that the inquiry phase. We will begin classes in September. Here is the schedule. You just come on to the meetings. There is no pressure and no expectations. Next time I visited Molly, we went out to eat and she told me, “Listen, I am NOT trying to convert you! But, you have a lot of misconceptions about the Catholic church and I understand because I had all the same ones, and I just want people to disapprove of the church for what we actually believe and not what they THINK we believe. I just want others to know what The Church ACTUALLY teaches. Is that OK?” I said “Of course. I know you respect me and my beliefs, but I always want to know the truth and, if I have something wrong, I want to know.” So, we talked…and talked…and talked. We discussed Mary and her role in the Church, we discussed the role of priests and the fact that neither is worshiped or equal to God. We discussed the reasoning behind not being free to partake in Holy Communion if you aren’t a practicing Catholic currently in a state of grace and the need and beauty of the sacrament of Reconciliation (Confession). Some things I understood, some things I still vehemently disagreed with. We had a great conversation and, though we didn’t always agree on everything, we always left with a better understanding of one another and better friends than before. To be completely honest, I still battle with regular Reconciliation. Not because I disagree with it, mind you, but because it is hard for me.  

I started RCIA (which btw stands for Right of Christian Initiation for Adults). I went to each class and each week concepts that had always troubled me, concepts that no one had a good answer for or had given me answers that didn’t sit well with my soul, all of a sudden were falling into place. I remember, halfway through one of our meetings, being washed over with peace, conviction, and a bit of irritation: “S***! I think I am Catholic, and no one ever told me. AND not even the pope himself has the authority or ability to change doctrine. I couldn’t believe it. Finally I found the answers I was looking for my whole life. Finally I found the church that taught God’s law is unchangeable even when you don’t like it. The irritation was my own pride, of course. I had suddenly realized that as I was telling God “NEVER” He was saying “Oh yes you will, My daughter. Because I love you and I know you love me. You just wait, your love for me will compel you.” The pride goeth before the fall.  

As Paul Harvey always said, “Now you know the REST of the story.” 

The Rest of the Story…

I came into full communion with the Catholic Church Easter of 2011. Unfortunately, Granny did not live to see it but she is always a part of my story and I am so grateful to have been able to share the last year of her life showing her a bit of the love she showed me. I have never looked back. There were a couple teachings I just couldn’t wrap my mind around. I remember having the conversation with God, telling Him. I don’t understand this concept, but I know in my soul it is true. Although I don’t like it and I don’t get it, I accept it because You say it is so. About a week after Easter the Holy Spirit gave me the gift of understanding. I finally got it! No one explained it differently, I didn’t do any extra research or study. He gifted me the grace to understand why. There are many times in our lives that God asks us to have faith and accept, even when we don’t agree or understand. Once we move our pride and our will out of the way, we are able to see the gift He wishes to give us. There is still much I don’t fully understand but none of it disturbs my soul. I am ok with that. Who was it that said: “My soul is restless Lord until it rests in you.”? A god who is fully understandable would not be much of a god worth following as we would have to be as great as he to fully understand. I don’t want a god as puny as I am. I love my God because He is infinitely greater than I yet lowers Himself to my level that I may know Him and His Love for me. 

For several decades now, there has been a decrease in individuals becoming priests and religious brothers/sisters. This has left a shortage of educated faithful teaching the faith as well as many parents who passed on WHAT we believe but not always WHY we believe. This left those my age feeling like they were just following empty rules. Recently I heard that for every one person who comes in to the church, we are losing six more. Why is this happening? Because Catholics don’t know what they believe, why they believe it and have no idea what they are leaving. I have such a passion for The Catholic Church because I know what it is like to be without it. I am passionate about not just passing on the faith but passing on a love of the faith. 

Now I live out my life the best I know how. Loving Jesus and discovering how to fight for Gods’ kingdom. I never got married, I never had kids and I have accepted my life as a fun-loving spinster. I spend my days living vicariously through my friends with many children, (Molly and I have been the closest of friends now for more than 20 years and our life and faith are forever intertwined) chilling with my animals, and finding new ways to befriend the saints who have so much wisdom to share about faithfully following Jesus. I also have the freedom to go on pilgrimage. I look forward to sharing my travels with you. Maybe one day I can be the scary old cat lady on the hill who everyone believes eats little children who trespass on her property. Haha.  I hope to die a saint, not because I am perfect or without flaw but because I have so fully emptied myself of me that only Jesus exists within me. I call this Blog “The Ordinary Saint” because that is just what I am…Ordinary. Some may hear that as a negative but it is NOT. Look at Mother Theresa, Saint Therese of Liseaux, St Gemma Galgani, and so many other of our greatest saints who were ordinary. It was precisely because of their being ordinary that God created Extraordinary! Most of us are ordinary and it is through the ordinary that God creates the extraordinary!

Peace and blessings to you, my friends. I am excited to find new friends through this new adventure. 

The aim of this blog is to share with you the truth and beauty of our faith while dispelling that which is false so that you can make an educated decision about the Catholic Church as well as to share in our daily attempts to live our faith. There is much that is practiced amongst Catholics that is NOT church teaching, nor has it ever been. “Please do not judge the Catholic Faith on those who fail to practice it.” -author unknown

“Assuredly I neither desire, nor ought to write in this book anything but what has been already said by others before me. I offer you the same flowers, dear reader, but the bouquet will be somewhat different from theirs, because it is differently made up.” -Introduction to the Devout Life by Saint Francis de Sales.